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You are JUNE EGBERT, and you are NOT doing Troll Fight Club, no matter how much Nepeta begs.

He is begging as well, stars in their eyes as she animatedly talks about how much the two of you could purrtect the neighbourhood.

JUNE: protect from what? no one's in trouble, and neither of us are even from here.

JUNE: i highly doubt maine requires us to go around beating people up.

NEPETA: :33< ok ok but!!!

NEPETA: :33< what if it does

The two of you stare at eachother, and you're really glad that you don't have any classes today.

JUNE: i'm not doing that.

NEPETA: :((< PLEASE33333333333333333!!!!!

JUNE: no!

The two of you go back and forth until a glance at the clock sends Nepeta rushing to their visual arts lesson.

You stew in silence as you finish setting everything up, and yeesh you were a bit of an asshat. Maybe it's because you just got out of a brawl. Or maybe trolls just have a way of making you seem like an asshat - Karkat, Sollux, even Aradia a bit, you guess. Oh gog, you're not racist, are you?

Hm. Now you just feel bad. And now you're finished, so there's nothing to do to get your mind off of it. Just your luck! You belly flop onto bed and ring up Dove again.

DOVE: yo wattup

DOVE: the ladies just cannot get enough of me today huh?

DOVE: first terezi was all hey cool kid and then youre callin me

DOVE: even that troll that beat you up

DOVE: i guess they all just want a piece of the strider pie huh

TEREZI: N3P3T4S NOT 4 G1RL TH3Y US3 4NY PRONOUNS

DOVE: duly noted and piss of im talkin here

DOVE: anyways whats up

JUNE: don't you have a visual arts lesson now? nepeta just left for his, so...?

DOVE: OH SHIT

They hang up with a start, and you're yet again left in an empty room, with just yourself for company.

You decide to just scroll a bit on your phone, and you find that you are also bored by that, so you turn on the T.V to see what's happening.

ARANEA: 8reaking news, fighting out8reaks are popping up around Skaia University, calling into question the safety of the students, and 8ringing up fears of gang violence.

The news anchor says this with such a conviction you almost think she's about to point the finger at you, and somehow pin it on you somehow.

She continues to prattle on, and you remember back to Nepeta.

JUNE: fuck.

It turns out that Maine did have something sinister lurking that required a fight club - nevermind the fact that that is not how fight club works - and, from the little you know about Nepeta, she is so gonna follow through with his idea.

You sit around, make some microwave noodles, change into a loose pj dress, and-

NEPETA: :33< JUNE I WAS RIGHT!!!

JUNE: you were.

They shimmy up to you, so close you can feel his nose brush on yours, and her hair ghost your chin.

NEPETA: :33< PLEAS3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333??????????????????????????

JUNE: ALRIGHT! i will think about it.

NEPETA: :33< yusssss!!!