Karkat Vantas has many facets to his character, and relationship skills- or at least relationship counseling- is one of them. You really are lucky to have him as a friend, even if he’s really loud and wordy.

KARKAT: THE OBVIOUS CHOICE IN ALL OF THIS IS TO JUST *TELL HIM* BUT I KNOW YOU’RE TOO SCARED FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

NEPETA: :33< im not scared! i just dont know if he f33ls any way that isnt platonic…

KARKAT: AND YOU’RE TOO SCARED TO ASK HIM.

You let out a little whimper at the back of your throat, and glare daggers into him.

NEPETA: :33< i guess!!!

You stick your tongue out at him, and he gives you a look that makes you realise that he’s about two seconds off from an explosion of rambling.

KARKAT: WELL, EVEN THEN, THE EASIEST, MOST UNDERSTANDABLE, AND STRAIGHTFORWARD OPTION IS TO FUCKING TALK TO HIM.

KARKAT: TELL HIM YOU WANT HIM IN RED, AND HE’LL ANSWER BACK WITH WHATEVER HE WANTS TO ANSWER WITH.

You shrink back into yourself at that, and can barely muster a mumble.

NEPETA: :33< but... what if i...

NEPETA: :33< whatifidontwanthiminanyquadrant???

He blinks. He blinks very slowly.

KARKAT: WHAT.

NEPETA: :33< ...

KARKAT: NEPETA WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, I ACTUALLY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

NEPETA: :33< ...what if i dont want him in any quadrant?

KARKAT: OH SHIT, WERE YOU NEVER INTO HIM? SHIT, I WAS SO CERTAIN OF IT.

KARKAT: FUCK, YOU WERE PROBABLY SO FUCKING-

NEPETA: :33< no no no! i do want him! i just-

NEPETA: :33< im just not sure its in a quadrant.

He blinks. You blink back. The two of you blink at eachother.

KARKAT: FUCKING. OKAY.

He massages the space between his nubs, and looks at you.

KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, EXACTLY?

You hum, and it's honestly amazing that you can even look him in the eyes right now.

NEPETA: :33< i- its just-

Gosh, you're green right now!

NEPETA: :33< its like... i want him like a moirail...

Oh, gog, you're throat's clammy!

NEPETA: :33< but... i wanna...

You can't say it, you can't say it, you can't say it!!!

KARKAT: WOAH, IF YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY THAT YOU WANNA MACK ON HIS UNNATURALLY PASTY ASS YOU'RE HOPELESS IN THE CONFESSION DEPARTMENT.

NEPETA: :33< im sorryyy!!! its just so scary! i get embarassed!!!

He sighs, and you can feel a weight on your shoulder from where his head suddenly falls.

KARKAT: I KNOW, IT JUST MAKES ME WORRY.

KARKAT: BELIEVE IT OR NOT, BUT WATCHING YOU TWO DANCE AROUND EACHOTHER IN AN INSANE PALE-TO-RED CHOREO PERFORMANCE ACTUALLY *ISN'T* THE MOST FUN THING TO SEE, AND IT PAINS ME TO SEE YOU TWO SO UPSET AT PROSPECTS YOU YOURSELVES CREATED!

KARKAT: YOU'RE LUCKY THAT I HAVEN'T SICCED SERKET ON YOUR ASSES LIKE I DID TO ROSE AND KANAYA.

You laugh at this, the motion of your shoulders forcing his nubs to scrape against your cheek, and knock your sunglasses askew.

NEPETA: :33< oh, gog! that was you!?

NEPETA: :33< *ac cant belive that cg would do such a thing!*

KARKAT: YEAH AND CONSIDER YOURSELF ON THIN FUCKING ICE, LEIJON.

The two of you laugh, and it feels like you got a little bit gutsier. Maybe you can do this afterall!

NEPETA: :33< ok, ok! im ready to hear the confession suggestions!

KARKAT: IT FUCKING TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. OKAY, SO-

After a long, long, time, you feel ready. You're gonna tell him, you're gonna tell him, and he's gonna say yes!!!

You hope.